Archive for category Fantasy
FFA VI: 101 Uses for a Miniature Donkey
Posted by Donk in Barnyard Follies!, Drinking, Fantasy, Reckless Irresponsibility on July 12, 2010
This summer has been pretty awesome so far. It’s been all flipcup tournaments, truck pools, and barbecue. My favorite party of the year has yet to come, and hopefully I’ll actually pull it off before we run out of summer. I’m building an enormous slip n’ slide, and to be honest… there’s absolutely nothing safe about it. A friend of mine has volunteered his farm for the project, and the slide and ramp are dead in the middle of a huuuuge hayfield. Unless you want to walk a few hundred feet every time you want a beer, it’s going to require several coolers. That’s fine.. but a pain in the ass to maintain.
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Sooooo….. that brings us to yesterday, where we were all sitting around the smoker and salivating over the idea of delicious baby back rib goodness. My friend with the farm, got a call from someone trying to unload a couple of miniature donkeys. He was a bit apprehensive at first, but after a bit of crowd persuasion…. he agreed to take them on.
You see…. we have lucked our way into a solution for our little cooler versus distance problem. I propose to you…. the minibeerdonkey. It’s as easy as a couple of 5-gallon buckets and some modified saddlebags. I’m not sure if two 5-gallon buckets full of beer are too much to load onto a single mini-donkey, but we’ve got a full size donkey for proof of concept and design scaling. The next step, and possibly the more difficult one… is training the donkeys to come when you call them. I’m sure that it’ll be a couple of weeks worth of training, but donkeys are pretty smart. I have faith in them. They will help me to realize my Utopian vision of a mobile beer cooler. I long for the day that I can stand in the middle of a field, and a single whistle will bring me two coolers full of beer. I’m so excited. Like, Jesse Spano excited.
Weekend Update: Cynicism edition
Posted by belmont yo in Fantasy on June 11, 2010
FFA V: ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..
Jeez… it’s slow around here.
I’ve been pretty busy outside of the site, and work has required those valuable blog hours for actual work stuff. What’s been going on with you guys? Did anyone catch any of those shows this past weekend? Any awesome parties? I stopped to help a broken down car on Friday night, and ended up spending the rest of the evening deep in the projects fixing more cars and meeting some awesome new friends. It was one of the most fun Friday nights evAr.
Other than that….. it’s pretty much been boozin’ as usual.
Oh! One more thing that deserves a shout out. I don’t usually recommend that you guys go to Rapture… but I’m totally gonna do just that right now. Go to Rapture Wednesday night! IllVille Crew is playing, and that is a crazy fun show. I’ll be there! Is anyone else planning to go?!?
FFA IV: Makin’ That Paper, Boo.
Well…..The cat is out of the bag. We were all really drunk on Cristal last week, and we slipped up. We let you guys know that we’re raking in that cashmoney these days.
I guess it wasn’t really a surprise for some of you. Ever since it started, I’ve been paying for my bar tabs, dinners, and grocery store trips by making it rain. And let me tell you… the money.. it doesn’t just change those that have it. It changes those that don’t, too. What’s the big deal Food Lion clerk? You were happy to make conversation back when I was paying for my beer with a credit card… but now that I’m raining paper on you at the register… you just glare contemptuously? What’s up with all the jealousy? It’s a good thing you don’t have money like this. You’d probably be really obnoxious with it.
Thankfully, we’re pretty humble people, so we’re not going to be all nouveau riche about it. If you see one of us at the bar; don’t be afraid to ask us to buy you a drink. We like to share it with the little people. At the very least, we’ll probably wad up a ball of $20’s and throw them at you or tell you to dance for it.
With all of the newfound fame, riches, and attention that we are having to deal with, some of us are hiring assistants and forming entourages. Please submit your application and list any pertinent skills below. Exotic dancing experience is a plus.
You can all stop making music. The best song of all time has officially been made.
Posted by Donk in Fantasy, Public Service, music on April 9, 2010
What lyric speaks to you the most? For me, it’s probably:
I see miracles all around me
Stop and look around, it’s all astounding
Water, fire, air and dirt
Fucking magnets, how do they work?
And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist
Y’all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed
FFA III: Loki won the Burning Man!
Hey!
I don’t know if you guys know, but today is kind of a big deal. Loki has returned from a long trip to the desert, and has brought home the gold. Not only did he totally and absolutely attend Burning Man, but he totally won that shit too.
So please, join me in the comments below and take this opportunity to congratulate Loki on his big news!