Hey!
I don’t know if you guys know, but today is kind of a big deal. Loki has returned from a long trip to the desert, and has brought home the gold. Not only did he totally and absolutely attend Burning Man, but he totally won that shit too.
So please, join me in the comments below and take this opportunity to congratulate Loki on his big news!
#1 by Donk on April 7, 2010 - 8:00 pm
Congratulations, Loki!
#2 by brewer998 on April 8, 2010 - 8:39 am
I hear he impregnated a couple of scorpions. I was all like “Why would he have sex with a scorpion?” and then I remembered:
Scorpions will rock you like a hurricane.
#3 by belmont, yo on April 8, 2010 - 9:17 am
And of course Im gonna call rule 34 on comment number 2…
Wel what do you know! I’ll just leave this here:
http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/1289/scorpionad.jpg
/welcome back from black rock Ton-Loki
#4 by Loki on April 8, 2010 - 11:04 am
You suck Donk. Way to lower what little credibility I have! I did not attend Burning Man, but if I did I totally would have won. Not hard to beat out a bunch of hippies. Best thing said to me on my travels was a woman in a convenience store in Fenner, CA:
her: “You been camping?”
me: “Yea, a couple days in Mojave.”
her: “I can smell it.”
me: “…”
#5 by brewer998 on April 8, 2010 - 3:50 pm
@3 – Ha! The awesome scorpion porn you linked to has now been verbotten! HTTP 403 and shit!
#6 by belmont, yo on April 8, 2010 - 3:59 pm
Goddamnit.
#7 by Mz Fitz on April 9, 2010 - 10:01 am
Loki, Did you wear the hat?
#8 by Loki on April 9, 2010 - 11:22 am
Haha. Again with the hat. No I didn’t wear it but you can be damn sure I’m wearing it tonight!
#9 by Mz Fitz on April 9, 2010 - 4:04 pm
For Donk:
http://www.ranker.com/list/the-10-craziest-food-abominations-of-all-time/joanne
#10 by Donk on April 9, 2010 - 8:31 pm
mmmmmmm…
Yeah, the bacon wrapped dinner is still in the works. But I agree.. why have bacon cups of mashed potatoes when you can have bacon MUGS of them!?!
#11 by Floozy on April 10, 2010 - 7:17 pm
Why no comments about Cassis closing? Fuck, next thing you know Oxo will announce it’s gone bust.
#12 by Donk on April 10, 2010 - 7:27 pm
Meh. Cassis always seemed like a clusterfuck when I went there. It’s a neat bar, but the space always seemed either empty and awkward or just slammed and uncomfortable.
And having a door charge seems kind of ridiculous.
#13 by Floozy on April 10, 2010 - 7:44 pm
I agree on the door charge… I stopped bringing one with me to save money.
#14 by shenanners on April 11, 2010 - 11:05 pm
Cassis’ owner was a huge asshole. So good!
#15 by Donk on April 12, 2010 - 9:13 am
@14
I knew that was coming!
#16 by shenanigans on April 12, 2010 - 9:15 am
@15: I am consistent in my hate, what can I say?
#17 by belmont, yo on April 13, 2010 - 8:14 am
Not many late nite posters here. We need some, especially drunk ones… admins, get on it.
#18 by Loki on April 13, 2010 - 9:13 am
I think there’s a lot of lurkers but just us dedicated posters (poseurs?)…
#19 by shenanigans on April 13, 2010 - 11:40 am
I don’t normally drink much, but for you, B-yo, I will get shitfaced tonight and drunk post.
#20 by rhymes with orange on April 13, 2010 - 2:06 pm
hey shen, I thought you liked Cassis and spoke well of the owner in the past?
#21 by shenanigans on April 13, 2010 - 2:32 pm
@20: You thought wronnnnnnnnggggg
#22 by belmont, yo on April 13, 2010 - 2:35 pm
Shen: loved the oysters, hated the owner… amirite?
#23 by shenanigans on April 13, 2010 - 2:38 pm
Blahblahblah you can get fried oysters at almost every effing restaurant in town. Sick of hearing people wax poetic about that.
#24 by belmont, yo on April 13, 2010 - 3:24 pm
Damn. Harsh. I dont know shit about food, and even less about oysters, I just thought I remembered folks going on and on about those way back when. Jesus.
*backs away slowly*
#25 by rhymes with orange on April 13, 2010 - 4:10 pm
yea I’m with you @24.
#26 by Dante C on April 13, 2010 - 4:14 pm
I didn’t know floozy designed purses
http://bit.ly/cwGHYF
#27 by Floozy on April 13, 2010 - 4:36 pm
Hahaha that is hypercool…. perhaps a bit on the small side.
#28 by belmont, yo on April 13, 2010 - 4:37 pm
Looks cool on the outside, but its made out of a yak’s bladder.
#29 by Floozy on April 13, 2010 - 4:40 pm
The Flooze isn’t choozy when it comes to her boozy…
#30 by belmont, yo on April 13, 2010 - 4:56 pm
Yeah but the flack from a yak’s crack can break ya back.
#31 by Street on April 14, 2010 - 8:48 am
That’s whack, Jack.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/13/halsey-minor-cnet-founder_n_536316.html
#32 by belmont, yo on April 14, 2010 - 8:54 am
Oh lawd! 13 mil, eh?
Im getting back 95 US American Dollars. What, oh internets, should I spend it on?
#33 by shenanigans on April 14, 2010 - 10:08 am
@31:
I thought I was a financial failure but damn that dude FAILs big time. With style even. Maybe I should sue my credit card companies and Sallie Mae for some bogus reason.
#34 by shenanigans on April 14, 2010 - 10:09 am
Oh, and B-yo: This site looks like shit on my smartphone, so drunken posts were impossible last night. My apologies.
#35 by belmont, yo on April 14, 2010 - 10:26 am
No worries ‘nanigans, all good things in all good time.
I, myself, am only really drinking on wed’s and fri’s these days (cuz its free!), so perhaps tonight i’ll pop off one of my cryptic chunks of 3 a.m. spiritual cynicism.
Still, your drinky posts are way, way more entertaining than mine.
#36 by Loki on April 14, 2010 - 10:43 am
We’re going to be doing a re-design in the next few weeks and included WILL be a smartphone version. I can guarantee it.
#37 by shenanigans on April 14, 2010 - 11:45 am
@36: Yay!
@35: I made the mistake of going to X last night and letting the bartender make me a drink called “Pussy Juice” which made me want to get on FB and type depressing statuses about how I hate my life because I work too much yet am still broke so maybe I should not drunky post at all. Or not drink “Pussy Juice”.
#38 by rhymes with orange on April 14, 2010 - 12:12 pm
Halsey Minor has awesome hair.
#39 by belmont, yo on April 14, 2010 - 12:26 pm
@38 The Hairarchy:
George Clinton >Phil Spector > Rod Blagojevich > Halsey Minor
/discuss
@37 Post your depressing drinky pussy juice ovations here, not FB. I learned that one the hard way. Im still picking up bits of broken glass in my laundry room from a status misunderstanding that lead to the police, paramedics and some well intentioned friends being suddenly in my living room demanding I get in the amber lamps. Dark times this winter, but jesus, not that dark!
Although lately, routine exercise has been slowly givin me that Tyler Durden bod (well, not quite there yet but… closer, i can feel it) and more importantly, has had me feeling like this!
Yay! Seasonal affective disorder cuts both ways!
#40 by shenanigans on April 14, 2010 - 1:57 pm
See earlier mention of not being able to access this site from my phone. And yeah, friends should NOT let friends drink Malibu. That shit had me crying in the bathroom.
#41 by Floozy on April 14, 2010 - 4:41 pm
Malibu makes me cry because it tastes so shite… it’s like a Mounds bar crammed into a bottle and mixed up with old man’s piss.
Isn’t it only 17% or something???
#42 by Donk on April 15, 2010 - 11:22 am
http://www.readthehook.com/blog/index.php/2010/04/15/chang-watch-the-chef-has-landed/
#43 by shenanigans on April 15, 2010 - 1:01 pm
@41: It’s just awful. The bartender that served me is quitting so I think he’s given up on making good drinks
@42: Remember when cVillain use to have breaking restaurant news? Those were the days…
#44 by Mz Fitz on April 15, 2010 - 4:18 pm
@ 41, Did anyone else read the translator’s name and immediately think of The Dukes of Hazzard?
#45 by belmont, yo on April 16, 2010 - 9:16 am
An absolutely random thought came to me last night. That fellow, Tim, who was shot and fell up on the mountain? His dj name was ‘dj prolapse’. And prolapse means ‘to fall out of place’. I mean no disrespect, I just think thats very odd.
#46 by shenanigans on April 16, 2010 - 9:39 am
@45: Eerie
#47 by Donk on April 16, 2010 - 9:48 am
@46
1,000th comment!!!
Shenanigans wins something!
(Sometimes something means nothing!)
#48 by shenanigans on April 16, 2010 - 9:58 am
Something should mean champagne.
#49 by Donk on April 16, 2010 - 10:02 am
Something might mean a puppy.
#50 by belmont, yo on April 16, 2010 - 10:13 am
Something will mean a free “pussy juice” at x-lounge.
#51 by shenanigans on April 16, 2010 - 10:30 am
@49: Ah hell no, I’ve already got to unload all these effing cats
@50: Ah HELL no, there is no longer any reason for me to go to X now that all my bartender friends have left
#52 by Donk on April 20, 2010 - 10:02 am
Ohhh shit… I almost forgot!
Happy 4/20 everyone!!
#53 by brewer998 on April 20, 2010 - 10:44 am
@52 – the fact that you nearly forgot is testament to your love of the holiday….
#54 by phoenix on April 20, 2010 - 11:40 am
@52 but i (we?) did forget this holiday:
http://www.nationalhighfiveday.com/
which is too bad- it came early this year, however.
#55 by belmont, yo on April 20, 2010 - 12:20 pm
Personally, I forgot my towel.
#56 by Donk on April 20, 2010 - 12:46 pm
This one isn’t going to make the weekend preview, but it’s worth mention as I know there are a bunch of vegans and vegetarians out there lurking. I have yet to eat at 12th St Taphouse, but this sounds like a neat event:
Vegan Beer Dinner w/ Japanese Beers
5 courses, 5 beers.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=111458345542515&ref=mf
$50/ea ($90/couple) sounds a little steep, but I don’t know how much or how fancy the food will be. It wouldn’t have hurt them to include a menu.
#57 by brewer998 on April 20, 2010 - 12:53 pm
Hmmm… I’m guessing the dinner is what’s vegan, because I’m pretty sure the vast majority of all beer is vegan. I mean, unless they use honey or something. Otherwise it’s all grains, hops, and yeast.
#58 by Donk on April 20, 2010 - 12:54 pm
Yep…. Beer Dinner/Wine Dinner.. it’s a type of event. This one in particular being vegan.
I’m not familiar with the brand, but they claim they will be ‘Hitachino Beers’.
#59 by belmont, yo on April 20, 2010 - 1:21 pm
Vegans: The other white meat.
That said… Disco Biscuits at the jef on wednesday, with unofficial agter party at the cafeteria.
And of course, the big treat coming straight utta San Franciscoto our little hamlet BASSNECTAR at the jef on Sunday!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgLgaYgoks0&feature=related
Be ready to hear everything from the beatles to slayer to RATM, mano chao, dr dre, MIA, bob marly… truly anything goes and the scene usually gets quite quite out of hand.
Trust.
#60 by Donk on April 20, 2010 - 1:36 pm
@59
Hippie.
#61 by phoenix on April 20, 2010 - 1:37 pm
@59
one of my favorite discoveries at allgood 08.
great music, slick visuals and extra gold stars for his playing three days after food poisoning with a “puke bucket” aside his turntables.
#62 by belmont, yo on April 20, 2010 - 1:50 pm
I could take or leave the biscuits – I just wanna gank their aftershow overflow donchaknow, yo.
But bassnectar is up there as one of the most innovative electronic/dj types going.
Visuals are done by “Videolicious”.
#63 by shenanigans on April 21, 2010 - 11:03 am
@56: Interesting but they need to put up a frigging menu.
#64 by phoenix on April 22, 2010 - 2:58 am
o beautiful wine, why must you treat me this way?
/such a tease.
#65 by shenanigans on April 22, 2010 - 10:32 am
OMG I had a fucking nightmare where I was waiting on a couple and the woman was like, “Tell me about the Vegan Beer event” and I was like I don’t know, and she was like, WELL you should. My friend speaks French and she would know. And I was like, well I speak French too bitch and it’s going on at another restaurant. So fuck off!
/nobody wants to hear about your dreams
#66 by belmont yo on April 22, 2010 - 11:18 am
I had a dream about Bea Arthur. I only have dreams about Bea Arthur.
/wait? nobody?
#67 by brewer998 on April 22, 2010 - 12:57 pm
The first image on a Google image search for “bea arthur fetish” is a little disturbing…
#68 by brewer998 on April 22, 2010 - 12:58 pm
You’re welcome, b-yo:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__vdjgDHdCMA/SJ_HAynkIJI/AAAAAAAAAGk/I52NOyjlsBI/s400/bea_arthur.jpg
#69 by belmont, yo on April 23, 2010 - 10:36 am
In other news, who ever knew baby grapes were so cute? These little bastards are only about 2-3mm. They look like dollhouse food.
/if I say my garden is full of miracles, does that make me a juggalo? *shudder*
#70 by MzFitz on April 23, 2010 - 11:12 am
@69 (hee, hee), only if you believe that miracles have no scientific relevance, and any resemblance of what you intended for your grapes to look like is purely coincidental.
#71 by belmont, yo on April 23, 2010 - 11:25 am
Fuckin grapes!! How do they work???
#72 by MzFitz on April 23, 2010 - 1:27 pm
If ICP ever comes to town, I’d love to interview them at a vineyard.
#73 by Loki on April 23, 2010 - 2:26 pm
We have some major pull now that cvillain is apparently defunct. I think I can swing that. With the money we’re paying our writers we can afford to bring in serious content like that.
#74 by Donk on April 23, 2010 - 2:30 pm
I’ll be honest… ever since the paychecks started rolling in, I’ve just been phoning it in around here.
They say that money changes people. They are so right.
#75 by brewer998 on April 23, 2010 - 2:59 pm
Yep, I’ve taken to rolling my cigarettes in twenty dollar bills.
#76 by Loki on April 23, 2010 - 6:38 pm
We’ve created a monster! I hope word doesn’t get out how much the secretly y’all folks pay. Then we’ll really be up a creek.
#77 by belmont yo on April 23, 2010 - 7:08 pm
I am writing my next Secretly Y’all piece on my gold plated iPad while my new Bentley auto navigates around recalcitrant bicyclists.
The internets. Makin it rain, bitches.
#78 by Secretly Y'all on April 24, 2010 - 1:46 pm
it’s ok guys. we’re sleeping on pillowcases full of money over here. keep those stories coming…
#79 by Street on April 25, 2010 - 3:57 pm
http://www.rationalcraft.com/Winscape.html
#80 by shenanigans on April 26, 2010 - 11:22 am
@73: Lulz
#81 by phoenix on April 26, 2010 - 11:59 am
just so we don’t miss another holiday:
http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/quick-clarification-about-boobquake.html
(today).
#82 by MzFitz on April 26, 2010 - 12:18 pm
@81, welp, it looks like I’m going to have to step it up a notch. This button down is going to have go one button lower…
#83 by belmont, yo on April 26, 2010 - 12:24 pm
I am belmont yo, and I approve of this holiday.
#84 by Donk on April 26, 2010 - 12:39 pm
@82
Fantastic.
#85 by shenanigans on April 26, 2010 - 12:47 pm
We already have this holiday. It’s called Halloween.
#86 by MzFitz on April 26, 2010 - 1:30 pm
@85, ah yes, but we don’t have to all pretend to be cats…
#87 by phoenix on April 26, 2010 - 1:39 pm
@85, 86
nor do we have to pretend to be pretending to be sexy in public;).
#88 by brewer998 on April 26, 2010 - 2:14 pm
@85
hahaha
@87
if the end result of “pretending” to be sexy is sexiness, then are you *really* pretending any more?
#89 by belmont, yo on April 26, 2010 - 3:11 pm
Doesn’t Title 9 dictate some sort of “Testicles of the Apocalypse” holiday in the name of parity? Is it time to dust off my speedo?
/helloooo ladies…
#90 by phoenix on April 26, 2010 - 4:26 pm
@89 i heard derriere de soie is looking into local handmade banana hammocks;).
#91 by phoenix on April 26, 2010 - 4:28 pm
@88 that was my point- but why is a “dress-up, be what you aren’t” holiday a day many people choose to “play” sexy. ?
#92 by Donk on April 26, 2010 - 4:40 pm
@91
Easy.
Dress up holidays allow people to drop inhibitions, while pretending that they aren’t *really* like that.
/I’m only a slut on Halloween!
#93 by Donk on April 27, 2010 - 9:58 am
One of my coworkers showed up today in a vehicle which very clearly has barf all over the side of it.
/we exude class up in this bitch.
#94 by Floozy on April 27, 2010 - 10:16 am
Anyone remember the episode of Friends where Fun Bobby stops drinking? That’s me. Fuck.
#95 by belmont, yo on April 27, 2010 - 10:30 am
@ 94 Could be worse, could be like… well, damn… I dont know how it relates, I just was stretching to have an excuse to post this wtf’ery.
Enjoy your tuesday!
#96 by shenanigans on April 27, 2010 - 10:46 am
@94: when can you return to drinking> Cuz I wanna be there.
#97 by Floozy on April 27, 2010 - 11:25 am
@96 Soon as I piss clean… it may take a while
@95 I want to adopt that little star! I am also buried in books trying to diagnose her syndrome, so thanks for that you time vampire.
#98 by MzFitz on April 27, 2010 - 11:25 am
@93, it wasn’t my puke. You know damn well that the puke was the product of our HR department. Ludwig’s clean and shiny, and at the shop getting her fluids changed…
#99 by belmont, yo on April 27, 2010 - 11:34 am
@97 She obviously has circular swiffer syndrome. Just dress her in a thick terri cloth onesy and never sweep again. She’s the human roomba!
And since Im a sparkly time vampire… here’s another for ya!
/i am the side show barker of txtnly.
#100 by Donk on April 27, 2010 - 12:45 pm
New FFA!