Archive for February, 2010
craigslist > personals > missed connections > m4w
Posted by Donk in Craigslist fun on February 27, 2010
You: Tall. Gorgeous. Sophisticated. 20-something. Brunette.
Me: Awesome black slightly offroad-ified Jeep.
Hi.
I feel like you might remember me. We locked eyes as I passed you on the sidewalk. As I turned into a narrow alleyway, I glanced into my rear view mirror; and your gaze held fast. Next, I drove into the side of a building.
Let’s get coffee some time. If you see this, tell me what building I hit to let me know it’s you.
P.S. You should probably drive.
Your parents are killing the facebook.
Posted by Donk in Drinking, Public Service on February 10, 2010
It has finally happened. My facebook account teeters on the brink of abandonment. No, I didn’t get an add from the parents. Long ago, I explained in detail why they would ruin facebook if they joined. However, this add is only about one Kevin Bacon away. My aunt has sent me a friend request.
Now, I have nothing against my aunt. She’s a perfectly nice person, and lives several states away. However, something about it just takes the shine out of having an active facebook social life. I understand that you are supposed to keep your profile nicely groomed in case of potential employers or the parole board. And I’ve managed to keep beer pong table cameos to a minimum. I’ve de-tagged most pictures that clearly show me in a state of inebriation. I’ve even gone back and removed many status updates that seemed somewhat irresponsible in hindsight. Unfortunately, one cannot underestimate the speed at which good family gossip travels. Now that everyone is mobile uploading their drunken antics within moments of the questionable activities, there’s simply no time to react. To be honest, I didn’t even know I went to Foxfield last year until I saw myself in attendance all over facebook.
Repent All Ye Sinners! The End is Nigh!
Posted by Donk in News, Public Service, Reckless Irresponsibility, Townie on February 9, 2010
We didn’t exactly get the 60 inches of snow that word around town may have led you to expect. In fact, we only got about 28″ over the course of the two day super-mega-blizzard-that-happens-every-60-years storm. That 2+ feet was just plenty to knock out power to over 13,000 people; and many of those are still without power. I have been extremely fortunate to have maintained power throughout the entire ordeal and my mobility wasn’t really limited due to the awesomeness that is a Jeep. I spent most of the snowy weekend sledding, playing snowtaxi, more sledding, drinking, even more sledding, and going to the bar. In all of that time on the road, I’ve noticed that there aren’t nearly as many cars abandoned in ditches and roadways. A lot of folks seem to have learned a lesson from the mid-December storm. I certainly haven’t. I’m real dumb. I love driving in this stuff. When else can I do 360’s down Garrett St and have a passable excuse?
Secretly Y’all: Love Stories & Other Lies
Posted by Donk in HomeGrown Events, Townie on February 8, 2010
Here we go again. Another Secretly Y’all event, and this time they’ve upped the ante to make things more X-Rated than usual. Personally, I’m trying to up the ante by making this blog post even more lazy and useless than usual. I’ll be honest. It’s tough. I really knocked it out of the old half-assed lazy ballpark last time.
So, here’s everybody’s favorite part (read: my favorite part) of the Secretly Y’all announcement posts. It’s the part where I plagiarize everything directly from their site.
Here’s some more stuff you might want to know:
- As with the last few times, it’s pay what you can with a suggested $5 donation.
- We are collecting toiletries for The Haven (the day shelter on first and market that’s run by TJAC), especially tampons and sanitary napkins. So come baring these gifts if you can!
- Troop Leader Melissa White will be there representing her girl scout troop (Troop 42) and delivering the cookies some of you ordered last time. If you missed a chance to order, there will be a chance to buy cookies at the event.
- Bring a chair! If you have a chair to bring, it’s a big help to us.
Most of the important info is the same. Random Row Books. Sunday (Feb. 14th). 7PM. Per the TXTNLY participation this go-round; only the unstoppable Belmont Yo will be throwing down the prose. I’d like to enter the fray, but I’m sure that restraining orders would be violated, illegalities would come to light, and an ex-stalker or two might shoot me right off the stage. Or maybe it would be poison… women are big on the poison thing, right?
Anyway, please come out this Sunday to watch B Yo kick ass again. Remember to bring a chair, as seats are always in short supply at these things. If you bring a folding chair, it’s a good idea to write your name on it. You wouldn’t believe how many green folding chairs showed up to the last one. It’s also a great idea to bring a few bucks to help the girls pay rent for the space, and anything extra goes to charity.
If you want to catch up with us beforehand, you can find us pre-gaming over mediocre food and drinks at West Main Bar & Grill*. We’ll probably start around 5:30-6PM.
We hope to see you in the crowd!/at the bar!/donating some toiletries & cash!
*Attention Stalkers: This would be the ideal time for poisonings. I’d suggest aiming for drinks rather than food, as the food only holds a 50/50 chance of being edible pre-poisoning.