Archive for December, 2009

Penultimate Decision

Posted by belmont yo in B'yo Tales on December 15, 2009

For a brief moment in my life I took a summer job as a bicycle messenger in San Francisco. In the days before pdf’s and email, large business districts of major urban areas relied on folks like us to deliver important documents of all sorts. The job was basically like being a cab driver for papers. I had a radio, and a dispatcher, a bag and a bike. The thing that distinguishes being a messenger in San Francisco from other cities like say New York is, you guessed it, the hills. And when I say hills, I mean hills with a capital H. Other than that, I think messenger culture was probably fairly similar in most cities.

Financial districts have a very distinct caste system, and of all the castes, messenger is the absolute lowest. It didn’t take long to realize this. Drivers on the road hated you for weaving in and out of traffic and generally causing a vehicular ruckus. Office building folks hated you because by and large most messengers look like they are extras from the movie road warrior. One fellow I met looked rather normal. He had a baseball hat with longish hair coming out of it. Thing was, his head was shaved shiny all around the top, right where the rim of the hat began. His thing was that every time he would make a delivery, as he was leaving, he would tip his hat to the receptionist and wish her a nice day, leaving always a rather stunned expression in his wake. He was also known to write obtuse messages on his dome from time to time. The sheer creativity expressed in the diversity of shenannigans lead me to believe that this might be a culture in which I could thrive. But it was a closed culture, and I needed I guide to show me the underside of these invisible people. That person turned out to be Mike Mowhawk. He was named such because well, his name was mike and he had a bright blue mowhawk. We hit it off immediately. And slowly over time, he revealed many secrets of the downtown pariah.

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Secretly Y’all: It’s A Wonderful Life… Or Is It?

Posted by Donk in HomeGrown Events, Townie on December 9, 2009

The girls at Secretly Y’all are up to their old tricks.  They’re holding another story telling event at Random Row Books on Sunday, December 13th @ 7PM. The last event was a huge success with over 75 people in the crowd! I’ll most definitely be in attendance, though I’m on the fence about telling a story this go-round. If my desperate need for attention kicks in, you can count on finding me pacing around that stage. I had a blast participating last time, but I haven’t been responsible enough to plan anything for this one.

There are a couple of important details for this go-round. I’d like to be all awesome and paraphrase the info, but I’ve accepted my lot in life as a plagiarizer and I hesitate to deviate from that. Here’s the verbatim from their site:

This time around bring a lawn chair or two for you and a friend (or a stranger). Also, this Secretly Y’all will be pay-what-you-can with a suggested 5 dollar donation.

Finally, in the spirit of the season, we’re going to be collecting donations for Community Housing Partners (CHP has served over 189,000 individuals and families, including [but not limited to] at risk youth and other families and individuals of low-income and low-wealth) and the Jefferson Area Food Bank.

We invite you to donate to CHP’s kids’ holiday store through donating toys, games, school supplies, gifts more appropriate for adults like pajamas, socks or household goods. In addition, we’re collecting old clothes and shoes that could be used for a kid’s dress-up closet for CHP. For the Jefferson Area Food Bank we’re looking for canned food donations.

So, bring $5 and a couple of cans… or earn yourself a ‘Hangover-Free Blackout Drunk Card’* by bringing in a toy. Random Row Books is on West Main St, just across from the Greyhound station. Parking was readily available last time, and I’d expect the same due to it being a Sunday night. You’ll probably find several of us pre-gaming at the W. Main Bar just before the event. I’m sure we’ll be boozing somewhere after too, just ask where if you want to join us.

We hope to see you there!

*’Hangover-free Blackout Drunk Card’ results may vary. Card is non-transferable, and is valued at 1/100th of 1 cent.

So, bring $5 and a couple of cans… or earn yourself a ‘Hangover-Free Blackout Drunk Card’* by bringing in a toy. Random Row Books is on West Main St, just across from the Greyhound station. Parking was readily available last time, and I’d expect the same due to it being a Sunday night. You’ll probably find several of us pre-gaming at the W. Main Bar just before the event. I’m sure we’ll be boozing somewhere after too, just ask where if you want to join us.
We hope to see you there!
*’Hangover-free Blackout Drunk Card’ results may vary. Card is non-transferable, and is valued at 1/100th of 1 cent.

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Is poetry allowed here?

Posted by belmont yo in B'yo Tales on December 2, 2009

While it’s not a big tale, its been sorta quiet around here lately, so I thought I’d toss this out there…

Five Dollar Poem

So Im standing on the loading dock at work
just watching all the little circles
form in the big puddle in front of me
feeling just as grey as the skies above
thinking about all the little battles I have to wage
some asked for, others not.

Just a bad luck stretch for me,
I guess
and I shrug in the small moment of self pity
usually reserved for four a.m.

And I turn to return to my cube and I see
on the ground
crumpled in a receipt
a five dollar bill.

And I stare at its obviousness,
its “value”,
its familiarity,
with the sort of stunned disbelief one has when finding paper currency.

“Perhaps my luck has turned around”,
i think to myself
as I stoop to pick it up
and as I un-crumple it
I glance at the receipt…

“Harris Teeter: Salad. $4.86″.

My lunch yesterday.

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