Archive for November, 2009

Secretly Y’all Podcasts

A few of our intrepid TXTNLY writers presented stories at the last Secretly Y’all at Random Row Books. There are now podcasts up for either download or online streaming. I encourage you to check them both out, as well as the whole thing the girls at Secretly Y’all are organizing. It is a very cool idea.

Belmont Yo’s bear story

Donk’s Emu story

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Interview : Worn in Red

wir

Worn in Red is one of the best bands in Charlottesville that you probably haven’t heard of. I’ve been following them since 2004, after the demise of Brad and Brendan’s previous band Skyline Awake. Their new album ‘In the Offing’ was just released on No Idea Records and things are really starting to take off for them. I had the opportunity to conduct an email interview with the guys while they’re preparing for a string of CD release shows (they are playing in Charlottesville this Saturday 11/21 at Random Row Books). In addition to being some of the nicest guys you’ll ever come across they are passionate about their music, their direction, and (apparently) David Lee Roth.

Buy the album and listen to it in its entirety at No Idea’s site HERE.

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Memories of the Afterlife

On my ninth birthday, I got presents and cake, and my father got the flu. My father wasn’t a lot of things. He wasn’t very reliable, he wasn’t a hard worker, nor a very good provider. He was however one thing – a very very funny charming man. A conversation with him always ended in laughter. He was also a prankster, April fools day being a national holiday for him. He was always up to something. Legend had it that in high school, an older gentleman across the street was pegged as to his schedule, and always parked in the same spot. So my father and his friends, having no wheels of their own, would simply “borrow” the car every night, and made sure to return it at the appropriate hour with the appropriate amount of gas in the tank. He never grew out of behavior like that, so to a nine year old, he was a god. Sounds stupid, but at that age, sneaking an entire pizza into a movie under his jacket was often more fun than the movie itself. I loved him very much – but I guess that goes without saying. Read the rest of this entry »

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What happens in Vegas…

I suppose for this tale, a little bit of context is in order. For a period of time in the late eighties early nineties, I worked for the Grateful Dead in several capacities. Their mail order ticketing program was handled by a group of people named the Hog Farm, who run Camp Winnarainbow in Laytonville CA. After a particularly nasty beat down of deadheads by the police in Los Angeles, the Hog Farm approached my friend and pot source Bobbo (again, all names have been changed) to start a new program for West Coast shows to help grease the wheel so to speak. This involved two phases. One show up to the lot where the show would be the day before and as fans arrived pass out garbage bags, talk about the rules camping or no camping for example, and just sort of be emissaries to promote good will and safety. For this Bobbo and crew would receive free tickets to the shows, and sometimes backstage passes if there were extras. The second aspect was to scoop up folks that had had a little too much of their vice of choice before the police did, and find a place to make them safe. For this we were exquistly suited, as Bobbo drove a 35 foot International Harvester school bus named Laughing Jack. Read the rest of this entry »

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Second Date

Inspired by Donk’s almost dying story – here’s one of mine:
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After I graduated college, I lingered around for a while. I rented a two car garage in a house known as the “Witch House”, which was a house occupied by five young witches. I guess they would be more accurately described as “wiccans” or “pagans”, but owing to their penchant for performing elaborate rituals involving fire and costumes and whatnot, the house could not have been more descriptively named by the locals. Shortly after moving to the Witch House, I developed a crush on the girl next door. Well, it was actually three houses down, but close enough to stretch for the cliche, eh? As I have said before, I was rather freaky in my daily attire, and this girl could not have been more the opposite. Clearly an athlete, she looked more like a sorority sister than anything else. Also, the house she lived in was nice. Really nice. There was nothing burning in the backyard, and no one lived in the garage. Everyone knows the freaks can often turn the normal chicks, but my crush lay idle. I mean what was I going to do? Invite her back to my cement floor repository of bones, art and laundry?

That all changed one evening when I ran into her at a party and she bummed a cigarette from me. We got to talking, and I had to pretend to be surprised to find out we were neighbors. We walked around and talked and she turned out to only be half of what she appeared. She was from a wealthy-ish LA family, the only daughter with three older brothers. She did dress normal on the outside, but on the inside, there was definite strangeness. That strangeness appealed to me greatly. We ended up kissing a little and setting up what we would consider our second date for later that week. For the sake of the story, I will call her Zulu, in honor of her strange side, as here real name definitely reflects the normality she projected at that time.
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The first time I died.

StayPuft

So, this story will probably explain a lot about me to those that know me personally. It probably has everything to do with my off the charts A.D.D., my inability to do math, or process travel directions. While we’re at it, maybe I’ll charge my propensity for alcohol and that damn tweed to it as well. I’ll be the first to say that it’s probably why I’m amazing in bed (ladies, take note here). I consider myself to be a pretty smart guy, though I certainly never showed it in school. I’m like Rain Man for random information, and I still remember my best friend from 4th grade’s phone number. Numbers and random facts; A generally useless trait, unless I can somehow get onto High School Jeopardy. Anyway, enough about how awesome I am. I just wanted you to pity or lust after me (or both, I’m not above pitylust), before I make every bit of your human instinct want to murder me.

Because…. technically…..    I’m a zombie.

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