The 40th anniversary of the Manson Massacre was a few days ago. This makes me think that I could start one. I’m tall, charismatic, crazy (according to ex-girlfriends), and fairly organized. However, I still need some others to do my dirty work and make up for my shortcomings. I can think of a few locals that I would want to have in my cult (when I start one):
Dave Norris (he’s tall, handsome, and would be great for recruitment of new members)
Bang! waitresses (foxes. also good for recruitment of new members)
Gregg from Crush (where are you Gregg! Our cult needs wine)
Death Valley has been done before, so I’m thinking of relocating to Nelson County. That seems to be the place for it. Or maybe we could move into the skeleton of the Landmark Hotel.
Who else should I send a cult e-vite to?
#1 by Floozy on August 12, 2009 - 9:22 pm
Dave Norris is a fucking ginger… noone wants to be in a gang with a dirty ginge. I had a Starbucks once next to him at Barnes and Noble in Barracks and felt defiled by his mere presence.
#2 by Floozy on August 12, 2009 - 9:23 pm
…but Gregggggg Oxley would be a monumental cult member. We could all adopt swooshy hair like him.
#3 by cbob on August 13, 2009 - 9:12 am
I have a cult of cbob but alas I’m the only one in it. Seriously though none of the people above are even remotely crazy enough to be in a cult. Where’s otterdung?
#4 by otterdung on August 13, 2009 - 11:43 am
#3
here I is, Young Feller!
Yogaville, the cult, got a big push when Karen Carpenter or Joni Mitchell (i forget which) gave all her cash to them to big the Big Pink Tit Temple. Maybe we need a washed-up rockstar to launch…where’s Dave Matthews…he’s already vegan or something, and that’s just LIKE being a cultist.
then again, rich fucks generally do well in cults… look at Richard Gere and his neo-buddhism with private jets and $800 bad haircuts… which leads one to think of Halsey Minor (first mention on this site?)… who is in a lost, eye-twitching sortof spiritual despondency… excellent mental-state for recruitment.
merchandising if the big issue: look at Brother-Father-His Holiness’ CHARLES website and all the mugs and snowstorm paperweights and poker-visor-hats you can buy there. I’d suggest maybe Floozy’s bloomered backside as a logo-motif?
#5 by shenanigans on August 16, 2009 - 3:48 pm
I totally want in on this.