I remember…

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I remember speeding around that outside corner along the coast in the Presidio in SF at about 3am being chased by the military police. I knew they couldn’t do shit to a civilian even if they caught me and the pacific fog was shooting up the piney scraggly bluffs all lit up yellowish by the sodium lights they used as streetlights. My Lambretta SX200 was cutting through the mists that looked like yellow fire and my floor panels were a breath away from scraping asphalt. I knew that road home like the back of my hand and I knew I had Officer Friendly beat to the border of the base by a long shot. I was James Fucking Bond, high out of my mind and flying through the curves with a flow that can only be described as spiritual. Winding down the engine as I passed thru the stone gates at 25th was nothing less than being reborn.

I also remember when this site had content.

What do you remember?

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Weekend Update: July 26th… wait, what?

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Weekend schmeekend, I have been whacked out of my gourd on percocet for like 4 days now, so it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is. And no, before all you heads who think I just stumbled into a scrip and am taking a holiday from reality rush to judge me (god damn I hate that – will you guys please stop that), I must state unequivocally that there is medical need. Seems one of my choppers went horribly south last week. Some little infective agent snuck under a crown and started a pain party in my jaw. So I, with great trembling of spirit, dialed my dentist’s digits.

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Weekend Preview – July 23-25

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It will be so goddamn hot that no one will know what is going on. Some will wander around and drink. Some will have to work. Some wont even leave the house. Most of you will act inappropriately at least once and no one will forgive you. There may be pictures, maybe even video. God have mercy on us all.

Im sure there are some bands and clubs and parties and what not, but what the hell do I know? Im just a cat lady, except for the fact that I am not a lady, and I have no cats.

My advice? Stay in touch with your star player and rock it like you own it, because haters gonna hate. Twas ever thus.

Did i miss anything? Think about listing it in the comment section and then get distracted by something and forget to do so…

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Weekend Preview – July 16th to July 18th

Freebird.

I’m not sure if I believe the weather forecast this week. It looks awesome outside right now, and it’s just about 100 degrees, but they say it’s going to storm all weekend? Ridiculous. Anyway, this weekend preview is so late that it’s already calling me about child support. Time to stop chit chatting and get this thing did.

Check out the weather and shows below the break!

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Secretly Y’all: Secret Shame

Secretly Y'all: Secret Shame

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FFA VI: 101 Uses for a Miniature Donkey

This summer has been pretty awesome so far. It’s been all flipcup tournaments, truck pools, and barbecue. My favorite party of the year has yet to come, and hopefully I’ll actually pull it off before we run out of summer. I’m building an enormous slip n’ slide, and to be honest… there’s absolutely nothing safe about it. A friend of mine has volunteered his farm for the project, and the slide and ramp are dead in the middle of a huuuuge hayfield. Unless you want to walk a few hundred feet every time you want a beer, it’s going to require several coolers. That’s fine.. but a pain in the ass to maintain.

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Sooooo….. that brings us to yesterday, where we were all sitting around the smoker and salivating over the idea of delicious baby back rib goodness. My friend with the farm, got a call from someone trying to unload a couple of miniature donkeys. He was a bit apprehensive at first, but after a bit of crowd persuasion…. he agreed to take them on.

You see…. we have lucked our way into a solution for our little cooler versus distance problem. I propose to you…. the minibeerdonkey. It’s as easy as a couple of 5-gallon buckets and some modified saddlebags. I’m not sure if two 5-gallon buckets full of beer are too much to load onto a single mini-donkey, but we’ve got a full size donkey for proof of concept and design scaling. The next step, and possibly the more difficult one… is training the donkeys to come when you call them. I’m sure that it’ll be a couple of weeks worth of training, but donkeys are pretty smart. I have faith in them. They will help me to realize my Utopian vision of a mobile beer cooler. I long for the day that I can stand in the middle of a field, and a single whistle will bring me two coolers full of beer. I’m so excited. Like, Jesse Spano excited.

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